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Chia Obama Gets a Kid ‘N’ Play

January 19, 2012
Barack Obama Chia Pet

Chia Obama got an uninvited modification when a rat needed an overnight snack.

A teacher stands in front of a class of first graders. She wants the students to name a word that starts with each letter of the alphabet in order, starting with the letter A. The teacher knows that one little boy will be inappropriate if she gives him a chance to use any of the letters that correspond with a curse word, private part, or racial slur. You know. A is for Ass. B is for Boobs. Bitch. Booty. You get the idea.

The little boy is dying to give an answer. His hand is in the air the entire time. The teacher goes through the alphabet calling on all the other good little children. When she gets to the letter R, she decides that this one vulgar  little boy can finally volunteer an answer. She holds her breath in anticipation.

“Rat.”

She commends him in her sigh of relief. “Good! Rat! Yes!”

He continues, “Rat. Big mother fuckin’ bitch ass rat.”

Big mother fuckin’ bitch ass rat is right. I came into my classroom this morning and saw my Chia Obama with a new hair do.

Kid 'N Play

Kid 'N' Play had killer hair styles in the 80's. My Chia Obama now looks strikingly similar.

A rat, the same rat that ate 36 bags of hot chips, 4 packs of Fun Dip, 3 Butterfingers and 6 Kit Kats over Christmas break, got to him last night. It enraged me. The food is one thing, my class pet is another. As I walked to the copy machine before school started, I belted out my frustration. “A rat ate my Barack Obama Chia pet!”

I didn’t know what to tell the kids. Do I reveal the rat problem? I couldn’t lie to them.

They noticed immediately. “He got a Kid ‘N’ Play!” “Obammi gots a fade!” “Man needs a new barber!”

They tell me to clean him up, even him out, and roll with it. They help me see the humor. Rat or no rat, we do the best we can with what we have because there is no other choice. If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When your classroom has a rat, you celebrate a Kid ‘N’ Play.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 19, 2012 5:46 pm

    LAUGH OUT LOUD!
    sounds like your new class pet is a “Rat. Big mother f***’ b*** a** rat.”

  2. January 19, 2012 6:41 pm

    As I sit here finishing up my lesson plans for tomorrow in a very quiet school building, I can hear the monster rat running across my ceiling tiles. Disgusting.

  3. February 2, 2012 11:44 pm

    Love it. My library rat is gnawing on our portable podium. That fake wood must take good.

  4. December 12, 2014 12:37 pm

    I am actually impressed that your kids knew who K & P was! haha

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