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Her Booty is Colossal

March 1, 2012
Roller Skate Sunny Dawn Summers

When I was a kid, my drug of choice was roller skating. My weapon of choice was a killer plastic charm necklace.

Our dean got a call from a mother last night that her son wouldn’t be in school for a while. He was one of the juveniles not listed by name in this police chase that shut down the entire West Bank Expressway for hours on Monday. This particular student missed a lot of time last year because he had been shot. During the most recent altercation (running from the police in a stolen vehicle with a stolen firearm), he lost most of his teeth. Sixteen years old.

A couple weeks ago he got himself beaten up pretty badly by a student he bullied into a fight. Then he called his mom to bring him his gun. She didn’t, but another teacher watched out the window as he ran from the cops, eluded them, ran back, gave them a double bird (and a mighty EFFE YOU!), and ran away again.

Amazing this kid can barely read when he spends his school days in a stolen mini-van getting high.

In other news, there is actual learning going on in my classroom. This morning, a student said, “Her shit is big!” about a girl who was in the hallway trying to bully one of my girls. Once he was given the look, he replied, “Her booty is magnanimous! Her booty is colossal!” Ah, getting close.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 1, 2012 5:07 pm

    I FORGOT about those charm necklaces!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those were RAD and I had so many charms!!!! My favorite was a baby bottle. Go figure. Where the heck is that necklace anyway?!

    Colossal – you’re right. Magnanimous improvement!

    p.s. no clue on the necklace but i know EXACTLY where my suede skates are if you wanna hit up a rink sometime…

    • March 1, 2012 5:14 pm

      I went online to find these charms a couple years ago. I was successful! I kept many of the charms I loved the most — the bottle, bike, sewing machine (of course), and made a necklace for my niece. Ebay, Kristine. Ebay!

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