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You Cannot Throw Up a Baby

May 29, 2012
Graduation Cap Ring

At the beginning of school we confiscated a ring with a gun on it. Now I have kids wearing graduation cap rings.

There are many reasons why we need sex education in Louisiana. Here’s a prime example of the confusion, overheard between 2 girls:

I think I’m pregnant.

Your period come down?

That ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.

And then this, a conversation had between me and 2 students at lunch:

Ms. Summers. I gotta question. When I was in the crazy hospital, this girl said she threw dat baby up. Dat possible?

I’m sorry, you have to slow down. Say again?

Dis girl. She say she threw up a baby.

Man, that make your throat hurt!

Like a real baby? What do you mean?

She said she ain’t havin’ no baby, so she threw it up. Dat possible? Like the baby come out her throat?

Ah man!

No sweetheart, you can not throw up a baby.

Oh, man, my throat hurtin’ so bad thinkin’ bout dat!

You can’t threw it up? Could a baby come out your throat?

No, it can’t come out that way. Your insides aren’t put together like that. It’s not a straight shot through your body to your uterus, where the baby grows.

You sure?

Yes, I’m positive. You cannot throw up a baby.

Den can you poo it out?

Poo it out? Sick!

No, you can’t poo a baby out. Those are all different, all those regions down there. They’re not connected. And did you say the crazy house?

Yah. My mom put me in there when I said I was gon kill myself. Dat’s when I met dat lady and she told me she threw dat baby up.

Got it.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 29, 2012 8:04 pm

    ok my sides r split…………….

  2. May 31, 2012 12:58 pm

    makes my throat hurt too!!!
    LOVE the graduation rings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. June 3, 2012 3:53 pm

    this blog is lively!!

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